Girl Talk

So Becca was over the other day before Evangelism training and stuff. I have to admit that the last time we hung out, I believe Wednesday night, the cuddling was awesome but after it was over I felt that I had pushed things too far and was analyzing why I let that happen. My justification was that I wanted more emotional connection from you so to get what I wanted I gave you more physical intimacy. I was praying about it also and the boundary that I crossed was if I lead you to a mental struggle. I'm really going to work on self control to not allow that to keep happening. Probably not the best of ideas about pushing physical intimacy to receive emotional gratificaiton but after talking with Becca she said she struggled with that too and not that it is right but it's what all girls do.  On Thursday talking with Becca this was the first time that I have ever said out loud that I want to marry you someday.  I want you to be my best friend for the rest of our lives and saying it out loud made me sure that it was the right thing. Not just something I say and then regret it a few days later. I want so badly for you to say that you want the same thing, to know that you like me that much too.

Saying love isn't an option because that's crossing our boundaries, and I'm sure that you haven't brought this up because you don't want to cross boundaries. I like that so much and how you are protecting both of us from crossing lines that will create us to struggle, or just rush into things that we aren't ready for. I agree that where we are right now isn't ready for marriage but the more we hang out and talk the more I become certain about us. I'm about to write you the letter we promised each other for the beginning of the semester so I'm going to leave some of the affirming words for that but I cherish your friendship and I absolutely adore you, I may even be gutsy enough to tell you I love you right now... but you won't be reading this for a long time :)